Steven Universe Meets Sun Tzu
by Horse Voice
Summary: Worried by the impending conflict with Homeworld, Steven asks Rose's room to let him meet the greatest general who ever lived. As always, it is able to oblige.


**Steven Universe Meets Sun Tzu**

by

Horse Voice

With special thanks to Forderz for editing

* * *

 _"Hey, Steven—wanna play 'War'?"_

He lay awake in the dark, and the past few weeks percolated in his mind. He knew he should not be losing sleep. With Malachite beaten and the Cluster soothed, the Crystal Gems could almost claim they were running out of immediate problems.

And yet...

Steven rolled over—left, right, and back again, each time less comfortable. Somewhere out there, Yellow Diamond slowly and surely drew her plans against the Earth.

 _"Wanna play 'War'?"_

"War" was not even a game; just a counting exercise, with an outcome based on luck. Not like real war.

Real war.

Not a game. Definitely.

Yellow Diamond had sent no more resources than needed to look for the Cluster. The loss of these meant little, so it followed that she would only send the dregs of her army to find survivors.

But then again...

 _"Apparently more than you, you... clod!"_

Pearl always said there was nothing to learn from samurai films, but Steven had at least learned this: Wound the pride of the arrogant, and they would plan revenge. The Homeworld gems would not come in force until they were prepared to...

 _"... Play 'War'?"_

Steven did not decide to roll from bed, put his feet to the chill floorboards, and march to his mother's room. It was an impulse, and in the first moment that he realized this, he decided to let it carry him where it would. _Alright, gut, don't fail me now._

A moment later, he stood among pink clouds, wondering what good could come from illusions. Would Mom have built something so amazing as this room for purely frivolous reasons? Maybe, but given all the things she had left for Steven to find, it seemed unlikely. The real question, then, was this: He could not take any of the room's illusions away, so what good was it at such times as these?

He sat down cross-legged, pressed his fingers to his temples, and scrunched his face in thought. He supposed the room could supply something important but intangible. The first thing he thought of to meet the description was love, but even that was more a thing one _did_ than _had_.

Steven frowned, annoyed at himself for getting stuck. He had always liked riddles, despite not being particularly good at them. How appropriate—the solutions to those were often intangible things. Like: _What is a thing often given, but rarely taken? Advice._

Advice!

He sprang up, wide-eyed and grinning. "Room! I need..." He paused. "I mean, I want to talk to, um..." He tried to think of a name from some book or film, but his mind chose this moment to go blank. "... The greatest general who ever lived." He finished the order lamely, sure that it was nowhere near specific enough.

" _Ni hao,_ " said a voice behind him.

Steven whirled to find a figure, as solid-looking as any human or gem, standing before him. It— _he_ , rather—was a trimly built Chinese man, perhaps thirty-five or forty years of age. He stood with a military bearing: straight-backed, with his chest slightly forward. He was clothed in a sort of baggy-sleeved green robe, bound about the middle by a thick belt, from which hung a sheathed longsword. His brow was lined in the manner of one with a habit of deep thought, and his gaze subtly darted about, taking in his surroundings before meeting Steven's eyes.

"Oh! H-hello," Steven said.

"It is pleasure to make your acquaintance," the man said. "I am General Changqing, of Kingdom of Wu. Informally, Sun Wu. And to my students, Sun Tzu." He pronounced the latter something like, " _Soon Tzuh_."

Steven cleared his throat and tried to assume a polite, formal manner, of the sort Connie had once said was good for talking to unfamiliar adults. "Nice to meet you, Mister—I mean, General Sun. Um, I'm Steven Universe. Crystal Gem. Defender of Earth." As he said this last bit, he wondered if he came across as laying it on too thick.

But Sun gave no sign of incredulity. "Honor is mine, young one," he said. "How may I be of assistance?"

"The room brought you here." Steven knew it would be impolite to directly mention that his guest was a simulacrum. "So you know what I know, right?"

"I do."

"So, in your professional opinion... If we fight Homeworld, can we win?"

"You can."

For a long moment, the two regarded one another. Steven waited for some elaboration, and blinked in surprise as he realized Sun was doing the same. "Just like that?" he said, raising one brow.

"Yes." Sun's tone remained neutral, as if the fact were of only moderate importance.

Steven was not one to question good news, but if there was a time to make an exception, it was when everyone he knew was in danger. "But how?" Steven said. "What do you know that I don't?"

"Only the contents of my own writings, and those about me," Sun said.

"Then how do you know we'll win?" Steven kept his tone earnest, as his guest's dignified manner—and the sword at his side—suggested he was not used to accusatory questions.

"I do not," Sun said. "I only know that you have _chance_ to win."

This made Steven think of Garnet, and he supposed she would ask for specifics if she were there. "Maybe you could start from the beginning?" he said.

Sun hooked his thumbs into his belt, furrowed his brow, and looked up and away, as though the answer were hovering about his head. "Mmmm. How to explain?" After a moment, he turned back. "You have already witnessed or been told of six battles, by whose details I can predict likelihood of victory. But come—sober thought is often made easier by leisurely walk."

The two began to stroll among the clouds, the boy making long strides to keep pace with the man. It occurred to Steven that he ought to make his guest comfortable, so he willed the room to form a stone path through a grove of cherry trees in bloom, with small stone shrines on either side and a decorative wooden gate standing on its own. He had just begun to feel pleased with his creation when he noticed Sun quietly chuckling.

"What's so funny?" Steven said.

"Making guest feel at home is fine idea," Sun said, indicating their surroundings. "But this Japanese."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Is no matter. Now listen close..."

They stopped just past the gate, and Sun turned to face Steven, his arms crossed and his brow again furrowed, as though he were lecturing a student. Steven caught himself standing at attention.

"First battle," Sun said. "When living machines began to arrive, it was you who said they should be observed, not immediately destroyed."

"Oh," Steven said. "Peridot's robots."

"Yes. In this way, you were able to discern enemy methods."

"Well, great!" Steven relaxed a little. "It's good to know we've been on the right track for a while."

Sun's posture did not change, but his tone grew just a little more severe. "It is strategy I would expect even un-blooded lieutenant to know. For this reason, I see your comrades are good fighters, but not so good strategists."

Steven's first impulse was to speak in the Crystal Gems' defense, but remembered the General was probably unused to back-talk, and so kept it to himself.

"You and your comrades play Checkers," Sun said. "It is battle of attrition. You must instead play 'Go'. It is battle of wits—much better for strategic thought."

"I'll try and pass that along." Steven meant this as he said it, but expected he would forget by morning.

"Second battle," Sun said. "Enemy incursion against your headquarters, when they attacked with flying siege engine—'star-ship'."

"Yeah, but we showed 'em!" Steven put his fists on his hips and puffed out his chest, trying to look bold.

Sun shook his head. "Battle would have been lost, but for your unique _chi_ that enemy was not aware of. It is object lesson for both sides. Your comrades openly attacked enemies of unknown power. They must not do this again. For as I have had my students remember—" He assumed a rhythmic manner of speaking, as if reciting verse:

" _Knowing the enemy and knowing oneself: In one hundred battles, no danger._

 _Knowing oneself but not knowing the enemy: One victory for one loss._

 _Knowing neither the enemy nor oneself: In every battle certain defeat."_

He ordered Steven to say this over and over, correcting him as needed, until Steven could recite it by memory.

"For this reason," Sun said at last, "you must also learn more about Lion. You trust him, but one must not fully trust what one does not know."

It was here that Steven could not help but protest. "But Lion loves me! He's part of the family!"

"Perhaps, but one so inscrutable may be scheming. In any case, it is also unfortunate that 'star-ship' could not be captured. Destroying enemy equipment is merely adequate. Capturing intact is better."

Steven began to feel as though he were quite small. He tapped the tips of his forefingers together and mumbled something about half-full cups.

"Still," Sun went on, "perhaps it could not be helped. Your comrades have been routinely destroying fortifications to prevent use by enemy. This is necessary evil, for you have not manpower needed to take and hold so many. Perhaps, in time, there will be enough." He waved his hand as if turning a page. "Now, the third battle—for allegiance of green one."

"Oh!" Steven said, a little more hopeful. "You mean Peridot."

"That one— _ai, ah!_ " Sun raised his hands and rolled his eyes, visibly exasperated. "Impudent and undisciplined. But useful. Turning her to your side was wise."

"Actually, gotta be honest..." He shifted his feet and scratched absently at the back of his neck. "I don't really think about people being 'useful'. I wanted to make friends."

"Nevertheless, Sun said. "She knows of enemy numbers, equipment, tactics, and so on. Each enemy thus turned multiplies your advantage. Your only loss was Yellow Empress's learning of her defection. Peridot might have made useful double agent. One must not underestimate value of spies."

"I... oh, all right," Steven said.

"Now, fourth battle—very important, for it exposes enemy weakness. You remember story told by Garnet."

"Of course!" Steven smiled at the memory, but wondered if Sun were about to criticise his friend.

"Ruby was assigned impossible mission," Sun said. "Defend Sapphire against overwhelming force. She accomplished mission by use of courage and lateral thinking. In proper army, such soldiers are commended and promoted—held up as example to others." He waved a hand dismissively. "Blue Empress not care. She sought to execute both good soldier and valuable agent for violation of old tradition. In my army, such punishment reserved for..." Sun paused and looked away—quickly, as if wishing to hide his expression.

"For?"

"No matter." Sun turned back, his manner again stoic. "With such precedent, I already foresee your opponents' downfall. The Four Empresses are mighty, but also brittle. Inflexible. Their empire is like golden statue with feet of clay."

"You mean like..." Steven turned to the path before them and imagined just such a statue of Yellow Diamond, ten feet tall and built atop two sun-dried clay feet. The result was lifelike enough, right down to its sneer of cold command, that for a moment a part of Steven wondered if it might come to life and attack.

But Sun merely regarded it with a nod. "In war, pride of mortals—or immortals—does not matter. Rigid doctrine and ideology do not matter. Only results matter. If you please, take one step back."

As Steven did so, he made to ask why, but was interrupted by a flurry of movement and a flash of light on steel. With a cry of " _Hi-ya!_ " Sun ducked and lunged forward, swinging with the sword that had been sheathed a mere second prior. There was a sharp cracking-crunching noise, and dozens of clay fragments clattered across the path. On his follow-through, Sun stood up, leaned forward, and pressed the sword-point to the statue's sternum. As Steven watched, the golden figure leaned back, at first slightly, then faster as gravity and momentum did their work. Down, down, like an oak before the axe, Yellow Diamond fell with a crash that shook the earth.

As the ensuing dust cleared, Sun turned to Steven and pointed his sword at the humbled figure. "Here, you see result."

"So..." Steven fidgeted and spoke slowly, waiting for Sun to frown at the first incorrect conclusion he might make. "What they think are strengths are actually weaknesses, and we can use that. It makes sense. I mean, all the Crystal Gems since the beginning used to work for the Diamonds before switching sides." (Sun nodded, and Steven felt a little more comfortable.) "Except Amethyst and me, I mean. So if we get more and more to join us..."

"They likely will," Sun said. "When moral authority is lost, defection and desertion follow. This, as well as execution of intelligent soldiers, leads to incompetence in the ranks. Outcome of fifth battle—that against squad of Rubies—shows this to be true, and there is no more to say of it. Now..." With a practiced flourish, he returned the sword to its sheath with a click of metal on metal. "Sixth and final relevant battle: that with gem-creature beneath earth."

Steven wanted to say it was not really a battle, but decided Sun was speaking figuratively, and simply listened.

"This most important battle of all, for it was here you demonstrated Supreme Excellence in art of war." The corners of Sun's mouth turned up just a little, and there was a genuine twinkle in his eye. "You use diplomacy at time when most would panic or despair, and reasoned with dangerous opponent. Is rare to see makings of Sage Commander in one so young."

Steven had been patronized by adults before, and could tell that was not the case here. Sun's manner was that one one adult addressing another, and as he realized this, Steven could not help turning a little red. "Aw shucks. And I'm just happy to be a Crystal Gem." Immediately, he wished he had thought of a more dignified way to answer such praise.

"'Sage Commander' is one who demonstrates Supreme Excellence when he can," Sun said. "To fight and win every battle—this not Supreme Excellence. Supreme Excellence consists of _winning without fighting_." At these last words, the general's face broke out into a full grin.

At this sign of levity, Steven felt it right to let loose one of his characteristic "Yay's." But halfway through, he realized the more martial "Hurrah" was more appropriate, so the result was a sort of "Ya'rrah!"

"'Cluster' may prove most useful in future," Sun said as his serious face returned. "For now, continue to think strategically. Your mother was cunning strategist, to have won asymmetric war. You must prove just as cunning. Attack with sword. Attack with fire. But most of all..." He pointed one finger toward the middle of Steven's forehead. "Attack with this."

"I will, I will!" Steven leapt into the air, one fist held high. "We can do it! We can save Earth! And maybe Homeworld too!"

"Not so fast." Sun raised his palms in a manner that politely but firmly requested a stop. "You have many battles ahead yet. The Sage Commander must never grow complacent, or disaster will follow."

Steven did his best to snap back to attention. "Oh. Of course. I knew that."

"Quite." Sun half-turned away, though there was nowhere to go. "Now time grows short, and you have much to do. I must bid you farewell." He looked into the nonexistent distance and said no more.

"Oh! Um." Steven supposed this brusque dismissal was a military habit, and decided not to take offence. "Very good, General Sun! And thanks!" He saluted, turned, and marched toward room's door, doing his best to copy soldiers from the movies.

But he had not gone ten paces before he again heard the voice of Sun Tzu: "There is one more thing."

Steven turned back to find that Sun had not moved. Before Steven could ask what he meant, he spoke again.

"Always remember moral authority. Do not forget to know right from wrong. Do not forget mercy. A kingdom that is destroyed can never come again to be. Nor can the dead be brought back to life." He met Steven's gaze, and this time his face was lined by what could only have been sadness.

If there was one thing Steven Universe could not stand, it was a bad feeling. This called for a sympathetic ear. "Did something horrible happen?" He said delicately. "Some awful crime you couldn't stop?"

"You are almost right," Sun said. "There was indeed a terrible crime. And too late, I realized..." He turned away and took a long breath. "... The criminal was me."

* * *

A stocky figure sat alone at the end of a finger of sand, doing her best to think about nothing. The rising tide was just about to reach the soles of her feet, but she did not mind. She figured she could catch at least a couple more minutes of the sunrise before having to move.

From behind her came the soft crunch-crunch of feet on sand. Rather than turn, she leaned back and craned her head, looking backward and upside-down. "Hey Steven," she said.

"'Morning, Amethyst." Steven plopped down more or less beside her, just out of the waves' immediate reach, and looked with bleary eyes toward the horizon, where long streaks of cloud were turning a fiery red. For a long moment, neither spoke.

"Didn't sleep too good, huh?" Amethyst said at last.

"I was thinking about Homeworld."

"I know that feel." Though as she said it, she realized she was not quite sure if she did.

"Those Rubies were easy to fool, but..." Steven looked toward Amethyst's feet, which were now getting thoroughly soaked. "There'll be more Homeworld gems coming, and they'll probably have smarter commanders."

"Not that that means much! Ha!"

Steven said nothing, but rose again just in time to keep out of the waves' reach. He crossed his arms and again looked out to sea, his brow furrowed and the corners of his mouth turned down. Just for a moment, it seemed to Amethyst that she was looking at someone much older than the Steven she knew.

"But hey," she said, "worrying never solved anything, y'know? How about a round o' checkers—take your mind off things for a bit?"

At this, Steven blinked once, twice, three times. He turned to Amethyst again, his frown replaced with the smile of one who has had a great epiphany, or remembered something tremendous.

"Ever hear of a game called 'Go'?" he said.


End file.
